Feeling a lot of what the title of this post says. But really it's all my fault. Working the freelance life really can create some funky loops in your work and sleep schedule. For me, most of the time this means late, late nights catching up on work and long lost emails that need much attending to. My mornings start early prepping for the day (7:30AM / 8AM the earliest on a normal day) and if I'm not working out of my home office, I'm usually trekking into the city for a gig or a slew of meetings in various locations. Then if I'm not catching up with my friends or on a date (oh boys), the day will end with maybe an evening event or the gym. Then once I'm finally home it's back to work again. I'm a workaholic I KNOW. I like the feeling of getting ahead of myself and just doing more and more and more. But this way sleep doesn't start until 2AM for me on most days sadly. And I WILL NOT WAKEUP without my alarm clock. And this doesn't even including how and when and where I attempt to throw in some much needed Netflix time. Hello . . . American Horror Story Coven. Zip, zero, nada sleep.
I've really been trying harder to get to that moment of shut eye earlier on purpose, and not only when my body physically shuts down on itself that I fall asleep mid-edit with my laptop open on top of me. Sad image I know. With my work, there is no such thing as a break and it's nearly impossible to accomplish it all if I give my body the amount of rest it actually needs to function properly and healthily. So there are many days when I overdose on caffeine until I feel like my eyes are going to pop out. Or I just face the day perpetually feeling and looking like pure shit that not even my prettiest red lipstick can cover up.
And you know what, maybe I don't need to stay up an extra hour and two at night to finish a day's worth of photo editing or a blog post that I procrastinated on before realizing too late that the deadline was actually much sooner than I thought. Maybe I just need to give in to my actually knowledge that sleeping will literally shrivel all my worries away, and that I'll feel better about myself in the morning even with a heaping to-do list laid out in front of me. Getting that pressure to cram things all into one night off my back might just be the best thing for my mind, body and soul. I've started with tea to help me.
I've realized that tea definitely has been helping me become more at ease in the mornings and right before I go to sleep. It calms my nerves and makes me relaxed (and not lazy) in a good way. The mix of the slow heat, aromas and all the other supposedly good things in tea (I'll trust the experts on this one) definitely creates a nourishing chemical reaction. But I know that it is also a mind game. Believing that it will help me actually does help me. Mixing some tea and some actual thoughtful writing is the best way for me to say hello to the night I have found. And starting off with tea in the morning reinvigorates me. So I've been working hard to have a cup of tea before my ONE AND ONLY morning cup of coffee. That way the antioxidants in my tea balances out the sugar in my coffee. Or at least I like to think about it that way. Yup. BALANCE.
Life without balance is completely off kilter and unmanageable. Your mind may think you can manage it, but your nerves think otherwise. That doesn't mean you need to overhaul everything in your life all at once to get to that point where you are completely ying and yang. It all starts with baby steps. For me right now, it's all about having a more balanced sleep and work schedule so that my mind and body feels always on point with whatever I need to tackle during the day efficiently. I most likely won't succeed every single day with this, but with passing time I will get closer and closer to that. It all just takes effort because you want it just as much as you need it. Easier said than done, I know . . . but sometimes saying it enough just might be that extra push to actually do it.
Okay, I think I've said too much. How the heck did I end up rambling so much????? Must have been the tea.
TEA. Coffee. Work. Fun. SLEEP. Repeat.
Good morning, but sleep tight tonight guys ok?? xo