Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Be Your Best Lover


Be your best lover. Someone might see you loving yourself and be jealous.

I recently read this quote in this Man Repeller article, and I thought it was great. Super Sex and the City-ish, but still really, really great. I've always gotten advice along the lines of this from my friends every time I get out of a relationship or a short-lived fling. "Just do you. And it will come." 

Repeat to self. Just do you. Repeat again. Sounds super simple in theory. In reality, it's hard as fuck. It's hard as fuck to get your mind off the repeated banging in the back of your head over why it didn't work out. We start to ask so many questions over and over, looking for the answer, but really we are just wasting time and putting our own lives on hold for someone or something that really isn't worth our time at all. I always take a moment now and then to remind myself this when I find myself feeling the after effects of a major let down or finding myself in the shit hole that is the back burner of someone's life that you in return made thoughtful priorities for. No healthy relationship can last without making a significant effort to strengthen the relationship you have with yourself. Giving too much love while receiving far too less back gnaws at our weaknesses, and it really does take the realization of our self worth to recover from that. Not to just recover, but to keep from falling back into its trap in the first place the next time around. Stop falling for losers and instead never stop falling in love with the things that drive your every passion, your every whim, your every belief. Those things should be number one from the beginning. Those are your strengths. 

Like Carrie Bradshaw once said, "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself." That's a line that will stick with me forever. A Carrie-ism can sometimes be the best spoonful of antidote out there.

9 comments:

Liz Lauren said...

this is really well written

http://hashtagliz.com

Rachel Ang said...

Great post. Gonna read it every time I start to feel lousy.

Rachel x
thehappybits.blogspot.com

Liezel Esquire said...

Well written piece couldn't have said it better. And I love me some Carrie quotes, ALWAYS! :)

http://www.fashioliezta.com

Kate said...

Beautifully written, and I couldn't agree more. It seems to be frowned upon to put yourself first, but in my opinion it's essential. How can you give the best of yourself to someone else if you don't first take care of your own needs? x

Kate Louise Blogs

Wynne Prasetyo said...

this post is so empowering. thanks for sharing! loving yourself is one of the most underrated things, one thing most of us overlook and end up blaming the world for not loving us because we don't feel loved enough. strength comes from within.

i hope you don't mind if i take that quote and post it somewhere sometime, i think it's beautiful and will inspire people. i'll of course credit you and the Man Repeller article. :)

Selftimers Blog said...

Wow, awesome post. Very empowering, love when people share their thoughts on the blog. And, I do agree, it is seen sometimes as selfish when we put ourselves first, but when it comes to self-love and health, heart, emotions, and well-being no one will fix us and take care of us more than ourselves. So we need to come before everyone and anyone else in terms of self-happiness and well-being

Thanks for sharing,
http://www.selftimersblog.com

DNA MAG said...

So so so so so so true !

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ndudlagirl said...

Love your thoughts, we really need to think about self hapiness. But I think it's impossible without that real relationshipon, that you want to charish for all your life. Love to another person is much more precious, and we need that kind of love in our life. Wish you all the best, thanks for sharing this!
xx,
Nataliya

www.ndudlagirl.blogspot.com

Dyan P said...

Thanks. :)